Becca Stareyes

Ugh. I feel like I have chills and muscle pains, which is usually the first sign I have the flu. Then again, I also have had what I called 'creeping crud' -- enough symptoms to make me feel sick without developing anything obvious. Usually a sign my immune system has things well in hand.

I'll take today off to rest, and then see where I am.

So, apparently mentioning to your psychologist that you spent half of a week not doing much of anything because leaving the house was too much hassle gets you an appointment with the psychiatrist to check your meds. Who knew?

So, yeah, been feeling lethargic lately, and my psychologist thought it might be depression. Once I get going on a project or get to my office, I'm mostly okay, but it takes a major kick in the ass to get me going. That and I've been falling asleep when bored, even if I've only been up for 2 hours*, or it's 7 PM.

The psychiatrist doesn't want to increase my meds, because the stuff makes me drowsy, which is none so good when trying to stop someone from being lethargic. There's another type of anti-depressant, but the psychiatrist hesitates to keep me on two different drugs at the same time unless that's really the only thing that works. So we get to try non-pharmacutical methods first.

So, I'm supposed to start getting up at a regular time every day (even weekends), switching my alarm clock to the annoying beeping if I have to. And no naps before noon or after dinner. I'm trying to debate whether I should just shift my schedule to wake up and go to bed later, or just only stay up late occasionally and cope with being sluggish the next day. The problem is that if I get up later, I won't move my work back later, since I don't like working after dinner. I could do my normal morning routine quicker, I suppose. I might see if I can get into the habit of not taking more than two hours before heading to work -- if I can get out of the door in an hour, then getting up later would be an option. (And I could stay up late to play with people every day of the week.)

I'm also supposed to exercise regularly, even if it's just DDR, and use the lightbox that normally only gets brought out in the winter. It's been kind of cloudy and stormy recently, so that could be influencing my mood.

My psychiatrist authorized all of you to help kick my ass on this subject. (Yes, seriously -- okay, she only said that I should get my friends to help remind me, but you guys are my friends, right?)

* And had tea with breakfast.

This is adapted from a recipe I found in the New York Times -- I just added the cinnamon and raisins. And sarcastic commentary. I brought it to the Astronomy picnic where it was a hit -- a loaf and a half were eaten, and Shoshe (the one who gave me the recipe) was quite happy, since the bread is low fat (and also vegan). Now, if only I could come up with a gluten-free version and handle everyone's food preferences/allergies/etc. at once.

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Comment "WORDS" to this entry and I will comment back with five words I associate with you. Then you post this in your journal elaborating.

Here's what padparadscha gave me

( Five Words... )

So, someone on the various 'traditional'* Slayers communities picked out a quote from Crispin Freeman about him wanting to see a season where Lina & Gourry (and Zel & Amelia) were couples and still having adventures. Someone posted the counter-example of the X-Files, where pairing Mulder and Scully in canon really disrupted the show's chemistry.

Currently all the examples I can think of either start the characters in the relationship (Wash and Zoe from Firefly), introduce the characters and have them hook up early on (John and Jane from Old Man's War) or introduce a love interest for a main character as a love interest (Miles and Ekaterin from The Vorkosigan Saga).

I suppose Tom and B'Elanna from Voyager, and the Deep Space Nine couples count as characters that hook up mid-series without the creator's intention, except by the end of the DS9 finale, most of those couples are split up. (Bashir and Ezri were kind of starting something, but that was near the end. Jadzia and Worf were split by her dying, Odo and Kira were split by him going home. I could count Sisko and Kassidy, except she was created as a Love Interest character, was a minor character, and he ended up with the wormhole aliens. As far as minor characters went, Rom and Leeta were together at the end.)

Can anyone else think of examples in long-running series?

* For those of you who are outside of the Slayers fandom, the 'traditional' pairings are Lina/Gourry and Zel/Amelia, and usually minor canon couples are thrown in there. So named, because L/G is at the point where I'd call them having canon affection for one another**, and Zel and Amelia are usually put together in the series whenever they split into two groups (okay, except TRY, but both times the cast wasn't making the groups)***.

** They kiss in NEXT, but neither says they remember it. And Lina insists on trying to figure out a way to free Gourry when a fish-woman (under the influence of some funny tides) claims he's the father of her children, and Gourry decides to help the family out. So, I'd say they lack a canon (romantic) relationship, but not canon affection for one another.

*** It also can easily be argued that Amelia had a crush on Zel in NEXT and TRY. Zel's a tough guy to read, though, and their relationship seems to have changed into more of a strong friendship/partnership in the new series. As a shipper, I'd say you can do it either way.

Between two days of cleaning, a mild stomach bug -- possibly aided and abetted by either chili or the stir-fry I made, general fatigue, and afternoon thunderstorms that come whenever I think catching a bus would be a good idea, I have gotten no science done this week.

I am annoyed. This needs to change, even if it's just compiling my research on Hyperion to go talk to the geologists.

Noticed that the mod of scifibigbang is updating the banner as people sign up. At least I presume so, since the only anime fandom on the banner is Fullmetal Alchemist, which is the fandom I'm writing for. Since the comm was mostly advertised in Western fandom communities -- there's some Final Fantasy Seven folks, but that's about it -- not terribly surprising. I did poke the mod to advertise in some anime communities I was a member of, and mentioned it in the FMA digest.

(Wonder what would have happened if I had picked something really odd, like that Escaflowne/Charles's Stross Bob Howard: Laundry series I keep wanting to write.)

Oh, speaking of... I made a fanfic to-do list. It includes both my WIPs and bunnies. Also updated my personal website and continue to debate if I should just turn it over to art storage and exchange stuff. Or, for that matter, just not review it next time that comes up and use a combination of journal services and image-hosting sites to create a creative content storage site.

I'm also debating on whether I want to finish the Slayers Albatross* for NaNo. One of the downsides to having a friend in Ithaca doing it is that I don't feel like admitting I'm writing fanfiction for it -- I already glossed over that fact with my (non-participating) officemates and the Ithaca NaNo crew. Ryan might not do it again this year, though.

November is a while off, though.

* My affectionate nickname for the fic I've been writing for longer than I've been in graduate school that is currently 73,000 words in two parts. Two-thirds of those -- the entire second part -- were gotten in a NaNoWriMo push in '07.

'Stoned wallabies make crop circles'

Nothing I can say can make this headline any more funny.

When you see this, take a minute and share five good things of your day with the world, uncut.

1. I cleaned my apartment, including going through the fridge and freezer to remove old food.
   
2. I got a run in softball, and a double (on an error).
   
3. I made delicious stir fry for dinner.
   
4. I looked up how to make homemade cinnamon rolls for the welcome-REU-students picnic on Saturday, and I only need sugar and maybe something for the top. They sound delicious and if they don't turn out right, I can eat them anyway.
   
5. I am about to take a nice, relaxing shower and then maybe have some chocolate.

(It's hard to think of good things when you spend 90% of your day cleaning.)

Downside was that I just got a mail from Cornell that told me that a computer containing my personal information was stolen, and that I need to put out a fraud report on my information. No signs that the computer wasn't just wiped and resold to someone, but just to be sure.

Dear New York State Senate,

Stop fooling around with party politics and get some work done. If the same-sex marriage bill dies*, or you don't deal with all the other stuff (tax breaks), I will be mighty pissed at you. So get your heads out of whatever orifices you have shoved them, and get to work.

Yrs,

Becca Stareyes

* Again -- last year the bill was never brought out of committee, IIRC. The governor actually said in an interview: 'interesting ideas or controversial pieces of legislation have always come to [the state capital] Albany to die.'

So, my air popper -- which I purchased after realizing that I despise the artificial butter most microwave popcorn bags us -- gave up the ghost. As in, it was emitting sparks, and it was a good thing I was there to see this, turn it off and unplug it before I had to dash to get the fire extinguisher.

kuchehexe suggested I try popping my corn over the stove. And I haven't had such good popcorn in ages. Air-popped popcorn might be better for me, but it was pretty much 'crunchy filling thing'. With the oil on the stove, the salt actually sticks to the popcorn, giving me the full flavors of salt and grease -- totally worth the extra calories.

I might try popping it in butter next time.

I need a food icon

A discussion over on Marie Brennan's blog on fanfiction/vidding as a form of critique

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Becca Stareyes: My advisor is out of town, most of what I need to do are revisions, and I think the kitchen counter is starting to turn into Carl Sagan's tholins lab. So I will take a long weekend to clean the apartment.

Feline Houseguest: Good morning, Substitute Monkey. Is it still the weekend?

Becca Stareyes: No, it isn't. I am cleaning today.
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In better news, actually getting exercise seems to be reducing my appetite. Well, not right after the fact, but when I'm idle.

I'm starting to wonder if this week's cloudy/rainy weather is what's contributing to my procrastination and fatigue. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, which means around November, my mood takes a plummet as the daylight hours decrease. Right now, the days are long but there's been little sun for the past week. And right now, I kind of want to crawl under my desk or head back to bed, instead of going into work. I thought it might be PMS, but generally PMS goes away by now.

I might have to break out the light box* unless the weather improves. It figures that this would happen the week I promised my boss a paper draft. (I still need to hunt down a copy of the notes I had on ring observation angle, not to mention the dates of observations.)

* I have two things I call a light box, as both are a box with bright light coming from it. One is flat and used to ink sketches or transfer things to watercolor paper for painting. The other is kind of clam-shell shaped and used to shine bright light on my face so my body forgets it doesn't get enough sunlight. It seems to help, but it's not something I can do a double-blind study on.

Debating on taking one of my longer fic ideas and joining scifibigbang -- basically four months to write a 25,000 word story in a SF or fantasy fandom. (And it ends right before NaNoWriMo)

It's not like I have a shortage of longer fic ideas to write about. Granted, the last time I tried a fic marathon, I pooped out after 1,000 words. My own fault for deciding I would do it in iambic pentameter blank verse.

(As far as long fics go, I have Part 3/3 of the Slayers Albatross*, the Dresden Files 'Mermaids in Lake Michigan fic', and a Firefly fic about the female characters that probably means I need a rewatch. Or coming up with a plot for a continuation of "Sticks and Stones", my Escaflowne/Laundry crossover. Oh, and "In the Shadows of the Flames", an Escaflowne story that could probably beat the Slayers Albatross out for 'hanging around my neck the longest', and a FMA/Vorkosigan Saga fusion that exists mostly because othercat suggested having Miles and Ed in the same room, I started to brainstorm how to make turn-of-the-century-weird-science-pulp and star-spanning-space-opera work together**. Or a Kin of the Stars/Firefly crossover or the FMA planetary romance AU. Or the Slayers prompt inspired by someone on ameliazellove about chimera!Amelia and human!Zel.)

* Not the actual title -- I call it an albatross because it has been hanging around my neck since '05 demanding that I finish it, to the point where part 2 was done for 07 NaNo and it now needs to be edited for REvo compliance. I don't want to edit or post until all of the rough drafts are done, since I know there's a rough spot between Parts 1 and 2, and I want it to be polished.

** Also, the idea of Riza Hawkeye scaring Ivan amuses me. And Ivan and Havoc commiserating about how they never get the girl. And the parallels between Mark's Thing about Miles and anime!Envy's Thing about Ed.

That's a lot of fic ideas. (Nine? Nine. And I left off any WiPs/Ideas that I figured would definitely be short stories, and the unfinished thing I mentioned above) I feel like I should try to make some progress on this.

Surprising how many are crossovers, AUs or fusions. I used to write a lot of crossovers as a young fan. Strange to see myself coming back into them.

Went to the department barbecue, where the traditional dish is butter-soaked potatoes and half-chickens grilled over a firepit. Seriously -- they have these metal grates with handles that are like, 2' x 3', and there's like five of them loaded up with chicken halves and they grill for five hours covered in marinade. And they are delicious and filling -- I ate at 3 PM, and am not especially hungry now. Of course, it might have also been the salad, couscous, and desserts (Laura brought chocolate-chip cheesecake to the picnic!).

( My life, so stressful. )

In something less stress-inducing, I did some Slayers fanart!

Discovered the cause of my recent apathy was probably PMS -- usually I can tell because it feels somewhat like what happens when my meds are out of whack. Now I just get to play the 'how many quarters do I have for unplanned laundry?' game.

Since I have just grossed out the male part of my audience, have a meme

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So, I got the Spirit of the Century RPG book, which uses the FATE system. (Interesting, and I might do a post on things like it that get away from some of the 'things we think we know about tabletop games'). Anyway, SotC models 'pulp' action stories -- weird science, a bit of mysticism, and a lot of action. One thing of note is that it has three combat skills -- Fists (Unarmed), (Melee/Thrown) Weapons and Guns (also used for bows and other ranged weapons). The game writer notes that all three have their advantages -- fists can't be taken away, melee weapons can be thrown or have extended reach, and guns have great range. They also have their disadvantages -- fists are limited range, guns and weapons can be taken away, and Guns cannot be used as a defensive skill. But things like damage are set by the skill roles, not by the weapon. Which works for settings where swords really do beat guns if you are awesome enough. (There are optional rules online for making Guns more deadly. You can also take stunts to make a character more of a bad-ass martial artist/brawler/weaponsmaster/gun bunny/etc. or to give them Future!Tech or a Legendary weapon or whatever, but again, those are character-specific things)

Which got me thinking about adapting SotC to handle a higher-magic setting than the default one -- Evil Hat has the rights to the Dresden Files RPG, and there are fanmade magic systems. Which got me thinking about the fantasy worlds I favor, like Avatar or Slayers, where the non-magic cast are just as bad-ass as the magic cast. Some of it in Slayers is that Gourry carried a magic sword, but against 'normal' opponents, he didn't especially need it -- the magic mostly seems to counter creatures not harmed by physical weaponry. (TRY did a bad job of handling this, but Revolution showed this well. Even when Gourry is captured, and his normal sword is removed, it took him only one 'grab for sword he didn't have' to get into 'defend Lina though unarmed stuff' and only ran into problems when a deadly swordswoman and magic-using assassin showed up. For that matter, he was able to hold his own in a swordfight against a foe with superior armor with an improvised weapon Lina made for him out of stone.) And in Avatar, characters like Mai, Ty Lee, Sokka and Suki (or, for that matter, Pian Dao) are all shown to lend their own skills to fights and hold their own against normal opponents, even benders.)

It's not quite about power, unless you consider different types of power. Pretty much, the old Justice League debate. Characters like Superman has a lot of innate superpowers. Batman has a lot of resources and contacts, and is at the high end of human ability in both smarts and brawn -- all of it is 'mundane', just exceptional -- so he can use planning plus 'stuff' to hold his own in an organization of Supers. One doesn't feel like Batman is a token member of any group of Supers he's in, or exists only to fund the group -- he gets his chances to be awesome, even if he can't punch through safes or fly.

I guess it's a fondness for a world where magic is Cool, but there are many ways to be Cool. You can be an amazing swordsman, or a deadly knife-thrower, or a martial artist able to disable with a single blow.

(For that matter, one of the Dresden File RPG development blog posts points out that Murphy might be a normal mortal, but she's got her own resources and skills that make her just as important to the plot as, say, Michael (a holy knight) or Molly (an apprentice wizard) or Thomas (an incubus) or the Alphas (weres).)

Made it home, but late, so I decided to take off the morning so I could sleep in. Next time, I do not fly on Wednesday -- I have group meetings on Thursday, and I hate going into work the day after I return from a trip, when I really need to do things like get food other than pasta/rice and unpack. (I do like flying midweek, as the planes going into and out of Ithaca are nearly empty -- there were maybe 8 people on the last flight.)

I made it home, but I did have a couple of mishaps -- thunderstorms delayed my last flight and my DS has apparently vanished into the aether. -_- (I was doing so well in Rune Factory, too -_-)

( The trip itself was fine... )

Been home less than three days, and already I'm getting a bit stir crazy. Not from anything my family is doing, but mostly from a disrupted routine and not enough to do.

I suppose I could give the lawn furniture Mom asked me to clean another go-over.